Internalized Ableism
As I’ve navigated my professional and personal life, I’ve come to recognize a subtle but pervasive force that has shaped my self-perception and experiences: internalized ableism. For those unfamiliar with the term, internalized ableism refers to the unconscious acceptance of societal biases and stereotypes about disability, which can lead individuals with disabilities — or those who identify with neurodivergence, like myself as a self-diagnosed autistic person — to devalue their own worth, abilities, or lived experiences. It’s a quiet, insidious narrative that whispers, “You’re not enough,” or “You need to hide who you are to succeed.” Today, I want to share my journey with internalized ableism, how it has impacted me, and why I believe confronting it is essential for personal growth and fostering inclusive anywhere you go in life.
I write this in tears because this still affects to this days, especially when people say terrible things like mislabeling or misdiagnosing me without fully getting to know the full picture.
What Is Internalized Ableism?
Internalized ableism stems from a society that often equates “normalcy” with productivity, social fluency, or neurotypical behaviors. Growing up, we’re bombarded with messages — through media, education, and even well-meaning advice — that prioritize certain ways of being. For example, being outgoing, quick to process information, or effortlessly navigating social cues is often celebrated, while traits like needing routine, struggling with sensory overload, or preferring written communication can be dismissed or pathologized.
As a self-diagnosed autistic person, I’ve spent years piecing together why I felt “different.” I noticed how I thrived in structured environments but felt overwhelmed in noisy, unpredictable settings. I realized that my deep focus on specific topics — what some might call “special interests” — was a strength, but I also saw how others perceived it as “obsessive” or “odd.” These societal judgments became a lens through which I viewed myself, leading me to internalize the idea that my neurodivergence was a flaw to be fixed rather than a valid way of existing.
How Internalized Ableism Has Impacted Me:
The impact of internalized ableism on my life has been profound, often manifesting in ways I didn’t recognize until I began reflecting on my experiences.
Here are a few ways it has shaped my journey:
Masking and Burnout -
Like many autistic individuals, I learned to “mask” — to mimic neurotypical behaviors to fit in. In professional settings, this meant forcing myself to make small talk, suppressing my need for sensory breaks, or hiding my discomfort in overstimulating environments. While masking helped me “pass” as neurotypical, it came at a cost. I experienced chronic exhaustion, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from my authentic self. I internalized the belief that my natural way of being wasn’t professional enough, which led to burnout and self-doubt.
Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome -
As a self-diagnosed autistic person, I’ve grappled with the fear that my experiences aren’t “valid” because I lack a formal diagnosis. Internalized ableism fueled this insecurity, convincing me that I needed external validation to claim my identity. This doubt extended to my professional life, where I questioned whether my contributions were valuable if they didn’t align with traditional expectations of success. For example, I once hesitated to share my ideas in meetings because I worried my direct communication style would be seen as “too blunt” or “unpolished.”
Striving for “Normalcy”-
Internalized ableism often pushed me to strive for an unattainable standard of “normal.” I spent years trying to suppress my autistic traits — like my love for routine or my discomfort with eye contact — in an effort to appear more “likable” or “competent.” This constant self-editing eroded my confidence and left me feeling like I was performing a version of myself that wasn’t truly me. It wasn’t until I began embracing my neurodivergence that I realized my unique perspective was a strength, not a liability.
Navigating Professional Spaces -
In workplaces that prioritize neurotypical norms — like open-plan offices or frequent networking events — I often felt like I was failing to measure up. Internalized ableism made me blame myself for struggling in these environments rather than questioning whether the environments themselves were inclusive. I remember apologizing profusely for needing written instructions or extra time to process information, as if these needs were a burden rather than a legitimate part of how I work best.
The Turning Point: Embracing My Neurodivergence:
The journey to confront internalized ableism hasn’t been easy, but it’s been transformative. For me, the turning point came when I began connecting with the autistic community online and learning from advocates who celebrated neurodiversity. Their stories helped me reframe my self-diagnosis as a valid and empowering act of self-understanding, not a lack of legitimacy. I started to see my autistic traits — like my attention to detail, pattern recognition, heightened sense of justice, high morals, directness (often gets mistaken for being rude but I am not even being rude), honesty, and passion for my work — as assets that enhance my contributions.
I also began advocating for myself in small but meaningful ways.
For example, I’ve learned to request accommodations, like quiet workspaces or flexible communication methods, without shame. I’ve stopped apologizing for my needs and started viewing them as part of what makes me effective in my role. Most importantly, I’ve worked to unlearn the narrative that I need to “fix” myself to belong. This shift hasn’t erased the challenges of navigating a world designed for neurotypical people, but it’s given me the tools to approach those challenges with self-compassion and resilience.
Why This Matters in the Workplace:
Sharing my experience with internalized ableism isn’t just personal — it’s a call to action for creating more inclusive workplaces and inclusive everywhere places (generally speaking). When we talk about diversity, equity, and inclusion, we must include neurodiversity. Internalized ableism thrives in environments that implicitly or explicitly prioritize one way of thinking, communicating, or working. By fostering cultures that value diverse perspectives and accommodate varied needs, we can help dismantle the barriers that perpetuate self-doubt and exclusion.
Here are a few steps organizations can take to combat internalized ableism and support neurodivergent employees:
Normalize Accommodations: Make it easy for employees to request adjustments, like flexible schedules or sensory-friendly spaces, without fear of judgment.
Educate Teams: Provide training on neurodiversity to help colleagues understand and appreciate different ways of processing and contributing.
Challenge Norms: Rethink workplace practices that favor neurotypical behaviors, such as mandatory socializing or rigid communication styles.
Amplify Voices: Create platforms for neurodivergent employees to share their experiences and insights, fostering a culture of authenticity.
As I continue my journey, I’m committed to challenging internalized ableism within myself and advocating for systemic change.
My self-diagnosis as an autistic has given me a lens through which I’ve learned to celebrate my strengths and navigate my challenges with intention. By sharing my story, I hope to spark conversations about how we can all work to unlearn harmful biases and create spaces where everyone feels valued for who they are.
If you’ve experienced internalized ableism or have thoughts on fostering neurodiversity in society, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s keep this dialogue going and build a future where authenticity is celebrated, not suppressed.
